Last week I started rehearsal for A Christmas Carol. It’s kind of surreal, because one year ago I unknowingly began Topical Steroid Withdrawal during rehearsals for the same show. I’ve truly come full circle. Even though I’m not completely healed physically, I’m much stronger mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A year ago I was literally suppressing panic attacks on stage, crying in the bathroom during intermission, feeling lost, confused, and like I was drowning. This past year has been the hardest challenge I’ve ever had to face, and I’m still facing it daily, however, I have grown immensely. Thank God for the lessons I’ve learned and will learn. This year has been a whirlwind of unexpected obstacles and blessings to say the least. It’s frustrating when things don’t go as planned, but if you learn to open yourself to the possibilities of unforeseen circumstances and find the positive in the situations you don’t plan for, it’s amazing how God can change you for the better.
5 Comments
Today I left the house with no hat and no hoody. Usually when my skin is flared up like this I stay inside, or I hide if I have to be out in public, but today I didn't feel like hiding. I've been in rehearsal for A Christmas Carol for the past week and almost every day I've been the hooded figure swaddled in a scarf and hat. The skin on my face has been really improving, but last week before rehearsal started I dealt with a bad flare that I'm still coming down from. I even broke out in my armpits, which has NEVER happened before. It could be that I traveled back to the east coast and my body is adjusting, or that I started eating more fruit and my body can't handle the sugar, or that I tried moisturizing with sesame seed oil and my body is not happy about it, or it's just a random flare, because I'm going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal. I don't know and I'm not going to stress over it.
I recently learned that my skin is going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW), and that has been the cause of the constant breakouts. Since TSW is a reaction to topical steroids and not actual eczema, natural eczema remedies have not been helpful. As I’ve continued to research the net and read the blogs of other TSW survivors, I’ve learned that many people have experienced improvement in their skin by going through moisture withdrawal. As far as I’ve found there is no miracle supplement or skin cream to cure TSW, but everyone who has tried moisture withdrawal has reported a vast improvement in their symptoms within a few weeks. When I first heard of it I thought, “That’s entirely too much.” I’m used to moisturizing every hour, or less, and it’s the only way that I’m able to look presentable in public. These flakes are no joke. But then the more I researched, the more it made sense. After you get over the initial discomfort and dryness of moisture withdrawal, your symptoms improve and the rest of the TSW process is a lot more bearable. When I weighed it out, I decided that I could handle two to four weeks of discomfort in order to expedite my healing. I’m currently starting week five of my moisture withdrawal process.
Occasionally I go through old journal entries to see where my mind used to be and how I've grown. Sometimes I come across entries that are relevant to whatever I'm going through currently. Last night I found a document on my computer entitled "Growing Pains." I wrote it on October 10, 2014, right before my TSW journey began. However, I had just dealt with a few major eczema flare ups over the summer, anxiety attacks, and I was still dealing with massive insecurity in my then relationship. I was at a point where I thought everything was about to go one way, but my life took a drastic 180 in the opposite direction. I was frustrated and really forced to examine myself, as I have been forced to do during this entire process. I've had more down time than ever before, so I've done a lot of reflecting, and I've really been able to ponder my purpose and what I ultimately want. Even though the below entry is not specifically about healing, it's reflective of where my mind was before this process started, and it has reminded me of why I'm going through all of this. This process has humbled me and brought me to my lowest low so that I can be rebuilt from the ground up, layer by layer. It's been no walk in the park, but I know that after this I'll be better than I ever was before. So here's to growing pains!
I try to stay positive when I write this blog, but honestly, this journey has not been all dandelions and rainbows. I’ve learned a lot, vastly improved the condition of my skin and overall health, and I’ve even been able to connect with other people who suffer from the same symptoms that I do, however it often feels like every time I take one step forward I end up taking two steps back. My initial plan was to get a new post up every week, but half of the time I’m just trying to figure out what triggered my skin to break out this time or why everything I’m doing doesn’t seem to be working. This past month I’ve spent a lot of time researching and reading other people’s blogs for inspiration.
In my last post I talked about leaky gut and why I'm on The GAPS Diet. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out "Leaky Gut, The GAPS Diet and Nutrition Response Testing." What I didn't tell you was how I jumped into GAPS completely unprepared! If anyone is considering taking on GAPS or any other type of healing protocol puhleeeeeaaaaaaase learn from my mistakes. I caused myself a lot of unnecessary stress with these 4 mistakes.
Hello beautiful people. The wait is over. I FINALLY got my life together and wrote this blog post. These past few months have been draining, frustrating, uncomfortable and eye opening, and I’m finally ready to share what leaky gut is and why I am on the GAPS Diet. I mentioned leaky gut a few posts ago, but I didn’t go into much detail.
I’ve definitely been slacking on my blogging and I sincerely apologize! I’m learning so much and doing so many new things, and sometimes I’m not sure where to start and what to write about. I recently shared on Instagram that I have leaky gut syndrome and I started the GAPS diet (Gut and Psychology Syndrome). I have already seen some great results and I can’t wait to share to share them with you. There will be a blog post very soon explaining in more detail what I’ve learned about leaky gut and the GAPS Diet. Today I want to take the time to pin point a few key things that have really helped me on this journey to healing. Hopefully these tools can help you as well.
I’ve become obsessed with flaws. You may have noticed since I ended my last post encouraging everyone to learn to love their flaws. We all try to hide them, and I want to expose them. No one is perfect. No matter how many Instagram highlights someone puts up, he or she is still flawed, but everyone is afraid to be themselves and show those flaws. We hide behind them with the different masks we wear. Instead of hiding behind mine, I’m going to lead with them as I work to be a better me.
Hello again loves! In my last post I gave an explanation of my history and why I decided to start this blog. I also said that I’m still dealing with a lot of the stress I put my body through. Today, I want to take the time to explain exactly what I meant.
|
I'm Lauren, aka Just Du Pree, and I want to thank you for reading. This is a space where I share my very personal journey healing from eczema and topical steroid withdrawal (among other things), life lessons I've learned along the way, and occasionally the thoughts of an awkward Black girl (no Issa Rae). I'm a performer and filmmaker, so if you feel so inclined, pop over here to see what goes on in my mind on the regular. If you like what you see, you can stay up to date with my work here. Much love, friends!
Archives
February 2023
|